CreationScience.net

So, just what DO you call Santa’s little helpers?  

     Why Subordinate Clauses, of course!!   : )

This program is the fifth program in a series that addresses the topic of whether the Creation Account of the Book of Genesis can be harmonized with the philosophy of Evolution.

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What does one get when they cross a Cocker Spaniel, a Poodle, and a Rooster?

        A Cockerpoodledoo!            

I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger ———- then it hit me!

When is it REALLY bad luck to have a black cat cross your path?

     When you’re a mouse!

Perhaps you’ve heard about little Billy. Billy swallowed some coins and was quickly taken to the emergency room of the hospital. Needless to say, Billy’s mother was very concerned and grabbed a nurse by the arm and demanded to know how Billy was doing. The nurses’  response, “No change yet.”

                               (I realize some of you might think this isn’t worth a plug (plugged?) nickel, but I like it.)

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of the shopkeeper, the young blonde declared, ‘Well, then, maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own Alligator and get a pair of Alligator shoes for free!!!’

The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, ‘Well, little lady, why don’t you do just that?’

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an Alligator and make her own shoes.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water of the swamp, shotgun in hand. 

As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot Gator swimming rapidly toward her.  With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the Gator and hauled it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead Gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement as the blonde struggled mightily and finally managing to flip the Gator onto its back. Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration…..

                                                                                    “Oh, No! THIS ONE’S BAREFOOT, TOO!!!”

When I was in Alaska last I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it actually turned out to be an “optical Aleutian.”          (Keep on eye on this one, it’ll go far)

Little Billy asked the ticket vendor if he could buy a ticket to the Moon. The ticket vendor’s response: “I’m sorry son, but the Moon is full.”      

(A little thought about this one will produce a beam of light that will show the humor of it.)

Perhaps you caught the news about the Cold Eskimos. It seems two Eskimos were out fishing in a kayak when one said to the other, “I don’t think I can do any more of this, I’m freezing!” His buddy replied, “So am I, but I have an idea. Why don’t we build us a fire?” His buddy’s response, “You mean build a fire right here in the kayak?” “Yes, right here in the kayak.” “That’s a great idea!” 

Well, they built the fire, it burned a hole in the kayak, the kayak sank, and they both drown. This just goes to show you, “You can’t have your kayak and heat it too!”          (Come on, you KNOW you like it!)