CreationScience.net

I read somewhere that 98% of all statistical studies are worthless. (You might have to think about this a moment)

One should always take the last photo of the day just before they go to bed. Why? Do you really want to know? Yes, you really do!

That way their day has a “photo finish”          (It’s not THAT bad, is it?)

Profound statement: The Early Bird may get the worm, but it’s the second mouse that gets the cheese.  

                                                       (You might need to give this one a “second” thought  : )

So just where does one get Dragon Milk. Why from (where else?) short-legged cows of course!!!! 

                         I know, you probably thought this one was udderly ridiculous.

When a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?

What do you get when you cross a Pit Bull with a Golden Retriever?

      A dog that will rip your leg off and bring it back to you!   (Come on, you know you like this one.)

So, just why do Eskimos bath in Tide?

    Because it’s cold out-Tide!   (You may not like this one, but you have to admit that it’s squeaky clean.)

If you went to the Moon on a space-ship and found a pile of bones on the Moon, what should this tell you?

Now you’re really going to like this one ——— why the cow didn’t make it!  

                                                                                                       (I realize this is somewhat generational)

Just the other day I was pondering the question, “Why do watermelons have water in them?” After giving this careful consideration I believe I figured it out. Here it comes———

   It’s because they’re planted in the spring.  (Get it? Spring. Like a spring of water, not like  a particular season of the year Spring, but the spring of water. It’s like some kind of play on words or something. Wow, I don’t believe I’ll be able to sleep tonight. This is really exciting for an old guy. When I get to the nursing home I’ll do a lot of pondering and I plan on sharing all of my pondering with the nursing home staff —–they’ll really like me  : )

Did you hear about the three-legged dog that returned to Dodge City, Kansas to try and find the guy that shot his paw?   (Aw, it’s not THAT bad)