CreationScience.net

So, just why do Eskimos bath in Tide?

    Because it’s cold out-Tide!   (You may not like this one, but you have to admit that it’s squeaky clean.)

If you went to the Moon on a space-ship and found a pile of bones on the Moon, what should this tell you?

Now you’re really going to like this one ——— why the cow didn’t make it!  

                                                                                                       (I realize this is somewhat generational)

Just the other day I was pondering the question, “Why do watermelons have water in them?” After giving this careful consideration I believe I figured it out. Here it comes———

   It’s because they’re planted in the spring.  (Get it? Spring. Like a spring of water, not like  a particular season of the year Spring, but the spring of water. It’s like some kind of play on words or something. Wow, I don’t believe I’ll be able to sleep tonight. This is really exciting for an old guy. When I get to the nursing home I’ll do a lot of pondering and I plan on sharing all of my pondering with the nursing home staff —–they’ll really like me  : )

Did you hear about the three-legged dog that returned to Dodge City, Kansas to try and find the guy that shot his paw?   (Aw, it’s not THAT bad)

I’ve just sent my registration off to the Phoenix Table Tennis Club to enter the Valley of the Sun Open, December 6-7, 2008. I’ll be playing in the Over 60 Singles Round Robin, Rated Singles U-1300, and U-3200 Doubles. I do not have a doubles partner, but the tournament director said he’d find me one. 

I’m really looking forward to this tournament, as it’s not just the geriatrics (they will be the minority), but a lot of young good players. I plan on taking lots of pictures and watching some excellent matches. 

Have you heard about the cat that ate the cheese and sat by the mouse-hole with “baited breath”?

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

      If you don’t laugh at this, it’s going to eat at you all day : )

Don’t be pessimistic, it won’t work!

                                                  : )

What did the Grape say when the elephant stepped on him?

      Nothing – — he just let out a little whine.            (Come on, you know it’s cute.)

A man enters his doctor’s office with a carrot sticking out of one ear, a stick of celery sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of each nostril. The doctor stops him in his tracks and says, “I can tell you what’s wrong with you already; you’re not eating right!!!