May 26
- There is nothing left anymore to learn the hard way.
- Things that you buy now won’t wear out.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
- You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally paying off.
- You can quit trying to hold in your stomach no matter who walks into the room.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them anyway.
- You can sing along with elevator music.
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guy on the television.
- Your eyes won’t get too much worse.
- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
- People call you at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you???? “
- You can get into a heated argument about pension plans.
- You can eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon.
- In a hostage situation you are the most likely to be released first.
- No one expects you to run – anywhere.
- You are no longer viewed as a hypochondriac.